You may be experiencing conflict in your relationship. Couples frequently complain about communication issues in the marriage. Even though you may be tempted to blame your spouse, it’s really no one’s fault. There are no classes that teach you how to communicate in a romantic relationship. Everyone is flying by the seat of their pants, doing the best that they can. It’s almost like you are trying to do a very stressful job without the proper training. You’re bound to feel frustrated and stuck.
When I encourage couples to talk with each other about their concerns, I see a lot of people argue. Some couples approach conflict like it is a debate. In an effort to win the argument, most couples exhaust each other. Other couples treat the conflict like it’s as an exercise in problem-solving, a riddle that needs to be solved. Very few people know how to practice compassion with each other. Instead of tending to each other’s emotions, most people are trying to fix or change their romantic partners.
The common traps that couples seem to fall into around conversation are:
- Convincing the other person that you are right
- An inability to communicate what we are needing
- Ignoring feelings and focusing on explanation (telling a story)
Are You Seeking Counseling?
I am professional counselor, licensed by the State of Texas. If you are interested in meeting with me, I offer a 30-minute free consultation. Studies suggest that the one of the most important healing factors in therapy is a good personality match. We can use this time to talk about what’s troubling you and see if I am the best person to fit your needs. To schedule an appointment, please send me an email. I’d like to help.