Shame is a very old coping strategy, usually developed in childhood.
When children don't feel safe expressing their angry feelings, they will try to manage these big emotions alone. They
will cope by turning their anger back inside, by being cruel with themselves. Shame is anger turned inward. Shame
serves no purpose, because it puts you at war with yourself.
When shame deceives you, you can see nothing good about you. You
may feel like "I am not good enough." You may believe, “I am a bad person.” When you struggle
with shame, you are convinced that you are defective and undeserving of love. Shame creates a force field around you.
You obsess over all of your flaws and dismiss all of your positive qualities.
When you are obsessed with your own darkness, you feel undeserving of other people's attention.
Shame isolates you and tells you that you are unworthy of affection. You feel exposed, defective. Rather than
struggling in isolation, I invite you to reach out for help. You don't have to suffer alone.